Bingo in Smoking

There are some irritations in this world that I tolerate willingly and happily. However, these things never relate to my work. My first exposure to how the working world was supposed to operate (outside the context of my parents, who simply disappeared every day while I went to the babysitter’s house and threw hats into [...]

This morning while waiting for the second train involved in my morning commute, I spied with my little eye a woman reading from a Sony eBook. I was intrigued. Though I technically fall into the category of “Consumer Skeptic,” the reasons are purely monetary. If iPhones and Go!Explore technology were widely available out of gum [...]

Dear American Airlines,
As a seasoned air traveler, it has become my understanding that economy class is not comfortable for anyone. Therefore, passengers have two choices. They can do what they must to make themselves comfortable, or they can each do their part to ensure that everyone has as pleasant a journey as possible. Common sense [...]

As The Eels would say, Christmas is going to the dogs. Especially in a time of economic crisis, when commercial enthusiasm is elevated to Seusslike proportions in order to mask the panic, we must ask ourselves two questions:

Is it ever okay to re-gift?
What about if we don’t get caught?

Since moving to the UK, I have [...]

They thought it would never happen. “Blasphemy!” they said. Also, “My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.” (Although, to be fair, this doesn’t make any sense.)
But it seems they are wrong, for I am writing a post. Stranger things have happened.
For example.
Since living in the UK, I have noticed several seemingly tiny but [...]

Hello. My name is Aleshia, and I’m a hypocrite.
“Hi, Aleshia.”
There are some social phenomena that I fail entirely to understand, but in which I participate.
For example, almost every day for the past 7+ years, I have bought a bottled soft drink for $1. This is roughly $2,555 worth of Diet Pepsi, and that’s only if [...]

I’ll be riiiiight back. Really.
So, to answer the all-important question of the pop-punk band Mest, the “dilio” is this:
I’m getting a Master’s degree writin’ for the talkin’ pictures and I’ve been writing like a madperson. But I will return soon. Not like Jesus, who said he’d be back soon and 3,000 years later we’re still [...]

Sigh. Does anyone miss this as much as I do?
TRICKS AND TREATS
Mystik Spiral – Freakin’ Friends

It’s tough to possess the secrets of the universe.
Day after day people approach me on the street and ask, “Aleshia, what do I need in order to live a life of purpose and fulfillment?”
And I answer: “Cheese.” Obviously. Show me a person who can think of something that can’t be improved with cheese, and I’ll [...]

As any red, white and blue-blooded, well-versed, gen-u-ine Ameri-person will tell you, one’s cultural identity is based upon the events that take place on the following dates:
April 16: The Day After Tax Day
Key ingredients: Large quantities of alcohol to drown out the undeniable fact that you have just spent upwards of $12 to send forms [...]

It has been brought to my attention that I seem to be catering to folks who may have a deep understanding of adding unnecessary letters to words and pronouncing the last letter of the alphabet incorrectly, but who have little background information on Paul Reubens.
But first, a conundrum.
Family Guy has been a part of my [...]

Does anyone else think it is completely and utterly ironic that Paul Reuben is involved with this?
TRICKS AND TREATS
Brian Ellis – Pee-wee’s Playhouse Remix

Boys and girls, the time has come to discuss something magical and special that sometimes happens between consenting individuals who may or may not know eath other’s names.
Syphilis.
According to an article that I read over someone’s shoulder on the National Rail train today, the number of cases of syphilis in Britain has doubled since 2003.
This [...]

And we’re back! After a moderately long hiatus, Bingo in Smoking is back in action, righting the world’s wrongs and bringing justice to those who care to be justified. Yes, if you need validation or even if you’re a block of text and you need to be spread evenly between left and right margins, I’m [...]

Sign makers, hear me now.
YOU ARE ALL INSANE!
A couple weeks ago, after a very embarrassing incident involving staying on a London bus for too long and ending up at the garage and receiving the strangest of strange glares from the driver, and while waiting for another bus to come and take me home, I was [...]

Since the release of National Treasure, which, sadly enough, inspired a very cold and snowy Spring Break trip to Washington, DC, I have been fascinated by secret societies. Is the whole world just one big conspiracy? Does the rat race really matter? And, most importantly, how does one go about getting in?
After extensive scientific research [...]

There are some things in life which seem, in principle, to make perfect sense. Twist ties. Cruise control. Alliterations. Then there are others which make you wonder if they were accidentally invented while a meth lab was being built. Polaroid sticker cameras. Pokémon. Alarm clocks.
It’s not the concept of alarm clocks that is alien to [...]

Buddha and Gandhi lived it. The New Radicals, Michelle Branch and Michael Jackson believed it. Your mother said it:
You’ve been hit by, you’ve been struck by a smooth criminal.
But before that — when the campfire began and they’d all had fewer beers — they sang songs of karma, songs glorifying the concept that “what [...]